- The Tragedy

Just when I was almost sure this was over, something new happens. As I was walking to work today, I saw it. There on the road. A dead squirrel. It wasn't squished, so I can only assume one of three things:

1. It fell from an overhanging tree


2. It was hit by a car and thrown by the impact


3. It wasn't really dead, but feigning death

It wasn't a small squirrel, so I know it wasn't the regular one that was visiting/spying on me. But that third option brings up an interesting possibility. Why would a squirrel be feigning death? I think there's more than meets the eye. That maybe something is really going on, and I'm merely the "fly on the wall" to it. Not directly involved, but in the midst of all that is going on.

Is there some kind of rodent war going on? With all these small animals NOT hibernating, it's possible. There's certainly not enough errant cats and dogs roaming to be a nuisance to them, so I don't think it's a "safety/for our protection" thing. Could there be some kind of internal power struggle? After years of being united, is it possible that the skunks, possums, squirrels, even the birds are now fighting for dominance among each other? Could that squirrel I found this morning have been *pushed* in front of a moving vehicle (or off a branch) as an act of retribution? The proverbial horses head when you wake up, so to speak. Is there a squirrel mafia? Is there a Rod(ent)-Father? And what kind of nicknames do small animals use? Vinnie the Human?

I might just have to hire some hamster mercenaries to infiltrate the organization...

- The Reckoning

I know it's been a bit since I last posted. I had to go covert. You know, study them as they spied on me. I've seen that small squirrel a few times since my last post. Once even, while walking to work. It ran across the street not 20 feet from me. Suspicious, maybe, but I'm still here, so no traps where laid (or set off at least). But the last few days have been quite pleasant. Sunny, or only partly cloudy, and above freezing temps. Today though, for the first time in a few weeks, I saw two squirrels frolicking. It made me somewhat happy, to know that they are getting back to business, and ignoring me.

However, you may be wondering why there's now a skunk in the logo and a new title. Well, aside from the fact that I have a bad habit of illustrating points with pictures (hey, it's the italian in me), the other night (saturday, the 14th, valentines day to be exact), I was packing up store merchandise to take to a convention the next day. At 11:30pm at night, I see something outside the double window of the store. It was kind of fluffy, and mostly white, and it wasn't a cat. It was a skunk, foraging. It had a mostly white coat, so I knew it was in it's "winter duds", otherwise I'd probably have thought it even wierder to see the skunk out in the middle of winter than the squirrels. Still, I thought skunks were more prone to hibernating than squirrels. On top of that, last week my friends dog had a possum dead ended in the back yard (luckily the dog is a big ole coward, or the possum might have been in actual trouble. The dog is a 100+ pound Golden Retriever).

In light of those two revelations, I'm inclined to point back to the post that started all this. Why are these small mammals not hibernating (despite the title, I am aware that skunks are not actually rodents)? I have done a little research, and found that skunks will hibernate when the weather conditions are severe. Somehow weeks worth of sub zero temps and 2-3 feet of snow and ice on the ground aren't severe enough?

Still, maybe it's just time for me to get back to my usually exciting and telltale life, and let sleeping squirrels lie. Or forage. Or frolick, or whatever they deem worthy enough to confuse me in these cold winter months...

- Day Something or Other

The Squirrel Crisis is starting to get interesting. The weather has been a little warmer over the past couple of days, and I've seen a squirrel on both days. But only one, and they weren't playing. Maybe they're having trouble finding food (I can't imagine how it was any easier a few weeks ago, when they were frollicking). Maybe they're sending out scouts. The one I saw this morning was quite small (a stealth squirrel, mayhaps?), and was signalling frantically with his tail. Even on our side of the fence, which I know was quite clear of danger, he was signalling. He also ran away after looking towards the bathroom window. I don't know if he saw me, but you have to admit it seems oddly coincidental. I'm starting to come to the conclusion that they don't have any specific plans against me, but they certainly don't want me to know what they are planning irregardless. Maybe to them, *I'm* the spy, so they have moved their base of operations?
I walked my friends dog yesterday, and believe you me, if there was a squirrel in sight he would have chased it. As was, he was extremely well behaved (despite my friends kids goading him, trying to make him run and pull me), so it's hard to say where they've relocated. If their plans are noble, and for the good of all, then I wish good fortune upon my squirrelly, nut-hoarding brethren. If they intend something more sinister, then I may have to take up arms with the chipmunks and unite against the squirrel invasion, or lack thereof.

Vive la la révolution de rongeur!

- Day 3

Still no signs of squirrels. Granted, the weather was crappy and it snowed like another 12 inches, but still. They're up to something. I just know it.

The Squirrel Conspiracy, part Deux.

No sooner did I write what I did yesterday, about the squirrels 'new' winter habits, than TWICE this morning, when I went to the bathroom, they were no where to be found.

Are they intelligent squirrels, reading my blog? How did they find out about the blog? Do they have some kind of inside informant? Is there a spy in the store? There is a vent behind me, and there's that shield bug (it's a type of beetle) that seems to have survived by being in the store despite the winter onslaught. Are the squirrels secretly feeding him, in return for vital information on me and what I'm doing at the store? If so, why are they so interested? What fiendish little plans are they hatching? When I mentioned yesterday about them being cannibalistic, did it bother them that I know so much about them? And my biggest concern...

Is it just the squirrels, or are there other rodents/insects/small animals involved in this conspiracy?

I'll keep you informed of any updates. But if I suddenly don't... beware the squirrels...

How much have we messed up the natural cycle of things? Even on a local scale? This is what I mean, in simple observation:

Everything I've read, seen, learned, grown up to believe (through my own witnessing) has told me that squirrels go away for the winter. They don't quite hibernate like bears, but if they can gather enough food for the winter, they'll basically hide. I know occassionally, if there's not enough food locally, they will have to forage a little during the winter.

I've lived in New York, I've lived in North Carolina. I have *not* seen a squirrel in the winter in all of my 28 winters. I'm 29 now, and live in New Hampshire. You know what I see, everyday outside the bathroom window, aside from the 2+ feet of snow that has been out there since early December? I see squirrels. Lots of 'em. Moreso perhaps, than I saw in the spring and summertime. And some of them are quite plump (most aren't, but a few are). They certainly aren't frollicking. In fact, they're probably freezing their arses off just as much as I do when I walk to work. Why are they out there? They're foraging.

WTH?!

There was plenty of food in the fall. I mean I could practically skate to work on a layer of acorns. The acorns would pelt the roof of the house, and one room that doesn't have a finished ceiling, it sounded like machinegun fire. There was no shortage of acorns. So why are the squirrels, even the ones that have a nice layer of "padding", out in subzero degree weather, where they couldn't get through the snow and ice even if there WAS food underneath? I'm just totally dumbfounded. I even know that squirrels are capable of cannibalism (not so cute anymore, are they?), yet I still am clueless as to why good hibernating areas + abundant food in the fall < winter hibernation/disappearing. I don't know if this is a rant, or an enquiry, or something else, but man, what the heck is wrong with squirrels nowadays? Or at least, northeastern squirrels? Why aren't you sleeping?!

Get a blog get a blog, I got a blog!
yeah ooh oooh oo ooo yeah I got a blog!

Even He's doing it!

Yes, you know boredom is setting in when one begins singing online (in text no less) and then pimping a friend's blog.