I know it's new years eve today, and I haven't posted since the 27th (more than 100000 more people dead in Asia since then :( ). I think I want to wait until after the new year to post again seriously. I don't think I'll do a year in review thing like last year, (damn! I've had this blog for over a year already?!) but I do have some general thoughts to share (as I usually do). So, have fun, be safe, if you're going to get drunk, do it around people you know and trust, and mostly, have a happy and blessed new year!

I'm usually not so serious, but I think we all need to take a moment of silence and bow our heads in prayer for the people of Southern Asia, who were hit with an 8.9 earthquake, and many others were killed by the ensuing Tsunamis, all the way on the other side of the indian ocean! The official count is 11000 who've lost their lives, but unofficially, it's over 20000.

Someone pissed off Mother Nature...

It be a few hours until Christmas, it be. So even though I don't expect to have a particularly pleasant christmas, I do wish a happy and blessed one to you and yours.

Here's Christmas in yer eye!

Ho hum. Another day, another... day...

The weather has warmed up (12 degrees on Monday, 50 degrees today). It's a few days until Christmas. I think I'm going to hibernate through it (at the rate I've been sleeping lately, I just might achieve this).

I started drawing a picture yesterday, and didn't like the tree so I stopped. There's a pic that'll probably never see the light of day. Anyways, I haven't shaved in awhile, and don't plan on it either (although I'm probably going to shave my head later). I'm over due for a shower (I know, TMI), so I'll give meself a trim and a scrubbin'.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

I've been told I need to update my blog. Well, just a little bit then.

Jay built me a new computer, an Athlon 1600, with 512 megs of ram. It turned out to be defective. So now I'm back on my p2 300 mhz with 128 megs of ram (running XP no less!).

Anyways, it takes me almost 4 months to get the thing set up, and to get back online (hence the delay of my return post). I've been trying to redo my website, and finally have a logo I'm happy with. It's been suggested I do my website almost blog style, which isn't a half bad idea. I *might* wind up moving this blog to my home site, because I don't know if I relish the idea of doing two simultaneous blogs.

On the other hand though, my home site blog could be a more creative outlet, and this one could be for my rants as per. We'll see how ambitious I get.

Yeah! I'm back online! More on the return later...

Anyways, I'm moving (yeah, getting the heck out of Dodge!). I don't know when I'll be back online (hopefully shortly), so keep your eyes peeled! (and say a prayer for me, wish me luck, etc).

Quiz Monster
 
From time to time, I like to take some of those silly online quizzes. Today I got an email from "Tickle.com" (formerly Emode.com) so I went there, and took a few recent quizzes;
 
Which Reality Show is Right for you?

Mark, you're destined for American Idol

Stars aren't born they're created — just ask the Monkees. All you need is the big break and American Idol is it. Whether it was an impromptu serenade in the school cafeteria or the business presentation-turned-standup routine, you've always been a performer at heart.
Your confidence and stage presence will get you far, and your love of attention will get you farther. Still, it's scary to be up against a million other candidates, not to mention the judges. No one likes criticism, especially when it comes from a snake like Simon. Thankfully, you have the poise and charisma to remain strong during his rants, and once the spotlight is on, all the pressure fades into the shadows. Heck, if some of those wannabes can make it, why can't you?

which of course, lead me to...

Which "American Idol" are you?
 
Mark, you're a Natural Superstar

When you step on stage, you shine. It's true - you look good in the limelight. There's nothing gimmicky or rehearsed about you, and your charismatic presence is honest and alluring — even if your only preparation involved years of singing in the shower. The competition had better beware —you've got talent, and you know how to use it. Simply put, you make everything look easy.
You've got that star quality that draws people to you. A little bold determination and confidence don't hurt either. So it's no wonder you're going places whether it's as an American idol or the next international superstar. Rock on!

I then took a different path, and decided to go for a career change;

The Career Makeover
 
Mark, you're an Architect!

For you, the world is like one giant puzzle, just waiting to be solved. In your undying quest for the truth, you're best at finding solutions to complex problems. Lucky for all of us, though, you love to share your brilliant thoughts. Your keen analytical skills and understanding of others makes you a vital player in the think tank. You thrive on the collaborative problem-solving process, could trouble shoot for NASA, and won't rest until the questions are answered. The world could use a few more like you.

Who's like you:Sigmund Freud

Likely careers:Psychologist, lawyer, market researcher, military strategist, PR strategist

I tell ya, some of these things are a hoot... military strategist... "hey, you see this enemy bunker? Blow it up."

How's that for strategy?

Gourd Abuse
 
You know, I've never really been a big Smashing Pumpkins fan, but I can so relate to the lyrics, "Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage."

Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

I can only hope...

I had a dream last night. It was interesting (I have dreams all the time, but most of them aren't very noteworthy, IMO).

I went to the store (the one where I work), although it wasn't really the store. I seemed to be in some sort of strip mall thing. However, there was the store owner. I can't say for certain, but it seemed like she was getting her nails done or something. Now granted, I consider the store owners (I call her the owner because I believe she is named as the primary owner, with my friend [her husband] as the co-owner) friends, but will be one of the first to say they don't belong in this business (specifically, the gaming store business).

I don't know what she actually said, but she said something to me, to which I (extremely agitated) replied, "Screw you! I bust my ass for YOUR store! I have sacrificed more for YOUR
store than you ever will!" and I stormed out.

I apparently tried to fly home, but was having trouble due to the wind. Specifically, the wind wasn't blowing in the direction I wanted to go. I somehow managed to fight against it to get back home. However, there were several women in my path. One finally stopped me and said something to the effect of, "we've been looking for you." The next thing she did and said I remember pretty clearly though: She said, "there are a lot of people here lately who are flying on false wings. They can only go in the direction that the wind is blowing." She then handed me what appeared to be a set of black wings (black feathers). She then said, "Now you can go anywhere you want, no matter which way the wind is blowing."

I then went back home, which had a really wierd doorway (it was kind of a half sized door, with no stairs or porch, just a stoop to the side of it, which I had to jump across to reach the doorway. I went inside, and there was a (the) dog. The music seemed to be a more upbeat version of "Cruel Angel Thesis" (the opening theme song for the "Neon Genesis: Evangelion" anime series. The song itself is actually a nice one, especially the piano solo version, which this seemed to be, only with a more upbeat tempo). There was a certain sense of... potency... I looked at my stuff, took off the useless fake wings, inserted the 'real wings', and just packed my backpack, and that was it. I gave the dog the fake wings, but since he's a dog, he apparently didn't need a specific 'direction' (iow, the fake wings were fine for him). I reached the doorway, with a huge smile. I told the dog, "we're free now. Free to go whereever we want." I remember taking off, and hoping that the dog might follow me, because at least I treated him fairly. But I wasn't expecting him to. And I just left. 
 
I can really relate to the "flying on false wings, only able to go where the wind blows them" statement, as that's pretty much how I've lived my life the past 5 years or so. I've never really had a 'prophetic dream', but I have had dreams that have viewed current events from a different perspective, and it's helped me in resolving current issues.

For those of you who think I'm dead, you just keep thinking that.


For the rest of you, I'm not dead.

Let's just say that Verizon tech support is neither technical nor supporting very well (brownie points if you can identify that line's origin).

A couple of weeks ago, our DSL conked out. That was friday afternoon. So on saturday, I called tech support. He couldn't get a signal from our modem, despite all the lights being steady green (which is what they're supposed to be). So he sets up a ticket to send a tech guy out on monday. Monday comes, the guy is early. That's good. He looks at the modem, checks the phone lines (even the phone terminal we have upstairs, since this place was at one point, a telemarketing office so it had lots of phone lines). He spends hours (we were his only call of the day) trying to find the main terminal box for our area. Finally he does. Then he leaves. The tech support guy I spoke to the saturday prior calls back saying, "we are too far away from our area terminal box for dsl, as a result our modem burnt out."

Keep in mind, we've had steady DSL service for over a year, not once did I see smoke or smell electronic burning, and the green lights were STILL steady green.

He tells me if I don't hear from them in 24-48 hours, to call tech support back. I can only assume they were to have some alternative solution. They didn't. I called back on the thursday after the tech guy came. They closed the file! Thanks for the technical support Verizon. Well, apparently I got on the line with someone a tad more tech savvy. After a few minutes doing stuff from his end, he discovered that we in fact were NOT too far from the terminal box for DSL. On top of that, he, and he ALONE had the smarts to ask the one magical question: "Do you guys have a router?"

Sonova...!

Well hot damn, we do have a router! It's configuration was password protected, so I couldn't get into it (have to talk to Jay, the store owner, since he set it up). BUT, after I got off the phone with tech support, before I called Jay, I decided to hook the modem up directly to the computer. Guess what? All those steady green lights didn't mean, "the modem is actually burnt out" after all!

Three green lights actually means... there's not a darned thing wrong with the modem! Well what do you know... Turns out there was a problem with the router.

So now I'm back, and mostly lurking. I haven't even logged onto my main stomping ground, Digital Webbing (not that they miss me anyway).

I almost considered shutting down all my communication avenues, and just taking a break, but you know, I own prime real estate on the internet, so I can't just leave all my friends hanging. Okay, I can, but you know, I'm miserable here, the net is my only 'getaway', so I'm not going to just throw it away if I don't have to.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if he was outside my store?


I know there seems to be something peculiar between myself and the local rodentia fauna, but today was just weird. They paved our parking lot yesterday, and are paving the one behind the store (it's a driveway actually) today.

But at about 12:30pm today (yes, about 15 minutes ago as of this writing), before our saturday business picks up, someone did a little "window shopping".

It was a woodchuck (groundhog).

My desk is in the corner, so I can see the door from the corner of my eye. There are four panes of glass in the entrance (two doors, and a window on each side). Peripherally, I saw something move into the far corner of the entryway (the door is closed, this all took place outside the store). I look over and see... well, just look at the picture above. It checked out the first (and farthest from me) pane of glass (leaned up on the window sill). Then it moved over to the first door, leaned up again and looked inside. About this time I had to get up and walk over. It then moved to the second door (closer to me). I waved at it and said "hello". Didn't phase it at all. It then moved onto the last window pane, not a foot away from me. I waved again. Either it was really, really short sighted, or totally not bothered by my presence.

It really was cute, and completely unexpected. What I found so odd was the way it checked each and ever window. Not in a "looking for a way in" manner, as it didn't scour the windows, it just leaned up and looked in the store.

As my friend said, "maybe he was just window shopping and forgot his purse."

:D

Hey, btw, I turned 30 on monday. Was going to write something on that (since 30 is a 'big year'). I still might later, after I reflect on it some more.

But in the meantime, feel free to enjoy some of my rodent stories, and feel free to send me some of your own!

Given my penchant for squirrels, I found this card incredibly humorous:

You know what's annoying? Annoying things.

You know, I find it odd that as an artist, the one thing I never really considered having was a muse. I was deeply in love once, and it inspired me to write poetry. Poetry that was good enough to be published. That's probably the closest I've ever been to having a "muse". Other artists complain that their muse isn't being good to them, or ride a high note saying their muse is being exceptionally generous to them.

Huh?

I just feel inspired sometimes. And uninspired at other times (lately, the latter). Still, I find it rather amusing that many artists seek to personify their inspiration, as if it were an elusive creature to be caught and um... fondled... Okay, not the best term, but you get my drift. Please the muse, ride the creative wind. Piss her off, and watch the blank canvas ridicule you to no end.

Any other artistic/creative types out there who consider such a concept as a "muse" (ie an external, ever tempermental source of inspiration, or the great taker-away of such inspiration) to be... well, odd?
That's not to say that there aren't things out there that inspire me. I love just about all music (except rap and most country music), and each inspires me (I'm very visually minded, so everything translates into imagery for me, and since music doesn't have "built in imagery" like movies and TV do, my imagination takes over and the sky's the limit) in different ways.

Television wise, anime is my biggest inspiration. Particularly Dragonball Z. It is so my style. I love dynamicism in my artwork, and DBZ is practically dynamics animated (when they fight anyway). It's the extreme: Speed, power, magnitude. They don't just punch and kick, the blow up mountains when they fight! It tickles my creative bone.

Movies inspire me as well. Many times I'll be watching a movie and go, "it'd be cool if they did this..." or even re-write it in my head adding characters and whatnot. If it gets my creative juices flowing, then I consider it inspirational.

Granted, many people would consider those "muses", but I don't feel the need to personify my inspirations (of course, if my inspiration is an actual person, all the better :)

So what's your mu... source of inspiration?

There once was a man from Nantucket.


No, really. Nantucket is a decent sized place, I'm sure there's been at least ONE man to come from there...


Quick squirrel story (no really, I'm not obsessed, honest. I just tend to notice them more):

I was walking to work yesterday, and passing one of the older, less "kept" houses (there's a few along the way that are rented by college students, so the upkeep isn't very passable). The sides of the house are pretty nasty, and the doorway has an eaves/overhang. Well, apparently a squirrel was on there, because he either fell off, or tried to scamper down the side of the house and failed miserably. He landed next to the stairs, and quickly sat up and grabbed the tall weed in front of him as if to hide behind it in embarassment. I thought it was rather humorous. The squirrel didn't seem to be hurt physically, only his pride.

I'd like to talk today about outside influences. Physical ones. Well, part of this blog is about my observations, and I have a few I'd like to share :)

The first involves people who have had traumas (broken bones and the like), and even well after it heals, those spots seem unusually sensitive to atmospheric changes (namely how it affects the weather patterns in an area). I had an accident a couple of weeks ago, and hurt my shoulder. It's getting better, but not 100% yet. I thought it was merely a sprain, but today, the weather here is lousy. Humid and raining all day. And my shoulder is hurting a LOT. I've heard of these types of 'sensitivities' with regards to broken bones, but not sprains (I'm hoping I didn't fracture the bone in my shoulder, which would explain the sensitivity). But I digress. Why are these areas more sensitive? I really have no theory on this, but am just posing these questions to provoke some thought. Does it have to do with some kind of fragile connection we have (but don't realize) with our ecosystem? In a similar vein, why do gloomy, rainy days tend to make people more tired than bright, cloudless sunshiny days? I've joked to people that I was "solar powered" (this coming from having worked overnights for a long time, so I developed a certain appreciation for the daytime, especially sunny days), but is it possible we are in a way, truly solar powered? Or at least, solar influenced?

A second observation I'd like to point out occurs when there's a blackout or power outage. Now obviously, if you're watching TV or doing something at night with the light on, you're going to notice a power outage. But I have noticed that whenever the power goes out even when I'm sound asleep, and all is quiet, that I bolt straight awake. Why is that? I do have a theory on that one. The buildings and homes we inhabit, those around us, are filled with electrical wiring throughout. Could we have developed some sort of subconscious sensitivity to this wiring? Mayhaps even an ultra subtle noise that our bodies somehow, somewhere recognize, but it's too low (or high) for us to pick up audibly. However, we are so in tune with it, that when it disappears, our bodies subconsciously react. Again, there seems to be some subtle connectivity we share with our environment that has yet to be explored.

The third observation dwells more on the internal environment. Sleeping and dreaming. We've all heard that we need 8 hours of sleep a night. But we all know people who do fine on 4-5 hours of sleep, or those that need 10 or more hours to get through the day. We seem to go through certain "healing" cycles when we sleep. Cycles that help to keep our brains, even our bodies more or less healthy or normal. One of those cycles involves dreaming. We're not 100% sure why we dream, or how it connects to who and how we are. It has been proven that people can *die* if they go for two weeks not being allowed to dream (like by waking the person up just as REM sleep starts, or through some other form of dream suppression). Don't be too quick to say "I hardly ever dream and I'm just fine!". You have to wake up (or be in some form of consciousness/semi consciousness, if not outright woken up) within 15 minutes after the end of a dream in order to actually recall any of it (or even having had it at all). So chances are you're dreaming, but you're just not waking up soon enough to remember it. Now, onto my point: Have you ever had a night where you've had multiple dreams (obviously waking up soon enough afterwards to recall having them, even if you did fall right back to sleep), and woken up tired, maybe even exhausted? Dreaming, even if you move physically very little in your sleep, can be quite exhausting (although some studies have shown some people get quite a workout when their bodies physically react to the dreams they are having). I believe our "sleep requirements" on a personal level, are actually more accurately measured based on our penchant for dreaming. People who dream more, tend to need more sleep. People who get by on less sleep, probably don't dream as much, or as intensely. I believe vivid dreamers (people who can actually in some semi-conscious way interact with their dreams, much like a movie director) require more sleep as they seem to have a certain, deeper connection with the subconscious and dreams than other people.
So if you're one of those people who seems to need 11 or 12 hours of sleep, even if just occasionally (like on weekends. It usually means you've been deprived of one or two of the other healing sleep cycles), don't fret it. You're probably a dreamer ;)

Wow. You'd think I'd bombed some small third world country yesterday with some of the personal responses I've gotten from my entry.

Some people vehemently agreed with me (actually, most people who responded conceded that people in general tend to be rather dumb). It was more the 'trying to help others' portion that got the response. There are one or two people who actually know how miserable I am in my current situation, and at least one of those people feels I shouldn't be giving advice, or even expecting my 'help' to actually help anyone, because I have been thus far unable to relieve my own problems. While most of her assessments were right on, this one was far off. I love this person, and consider her a dear friend (love in the 'friend/caring' way), but have to say I think she's wrong on this point.

My current situation doesn't negate the value of my advice. My past experience, and just plain common sense gives my advice and help some clout. People wouldn't be coming to me asking for my advice if they felt it wasn't going to be helpful. Granted, not everyone I try to help has asked for it, but that doesn't mean I should willingly allow them to stumble into their own holes. People can learn from past mistakes, or the mistakes of others, and should share that knowledge with others heading along similar paths. Now, obviously we can't force them to heed the advice, but just because it may be unsolicited doesn't make it any less valuable.

Admittedly, I'm no gold mine here, but I've got a decent head on my shoulders, a good deal of common sense and a good helping of life experience under my belt. Not to mention a willingness to help others (even if a part of my motivation is the satisfaction I get out of helping people). I'm one of those people who can teach you the theory, but haven't quite figured out how to apply it properly in our own lives. Does that make it less valuable? Heck no! Just because I can't apply it, doesn't mean the person(s) I share it with can't.

On top of that, many of the people who ask me for help/advice, or that I share it with have no clue what my personal life is like. So why should it make a difference? If I tell them "Just go and do it", is it going to sound any different if they know everything, or nothing about my own life? The advice is what it means to THEM, not how it applies to me, sharing it with them. And if I can't seem to get my own act together, why should I thusly neglect helping someone else? That would make things worse, IMO.

That all being said, I'd rather continue to help where I'm asked, or where I see a problem (I'd rather offer to help and be rejected, than sit idly by while someone falls). If I can figure out how to get out of my own hole along the way, so be it. But either way, I have things to share, things to teach, and I will continue to do so. If I help even one person, it's worth it, you know?

Why are people so stupid? (not you reading this, but people in general ;) Seriously though. Some people have this self-martyr complex. They have to blow everything out of proportion, and if you get mad at them, it's automatically a "deep down, seething hatred" in their eyes. Or worse, the people who can't seem to see the obvious joke, even if you had "THIS IS A JOKE" stamped all over it.

Folks, the weather is GORGEOUS here. It's spring. It's sprung. Or something like that. I won't be needing a jacket for awhile (maybe an umbrella, but that's it). I'm solar powered, so the days are just incredible (I spent years working overnights, so I developed a certain appreciation for daytime). I have two weeks all to myself. (Not a vacation, but the store owners are in canada, so I get some 'me' time). There's no reason for me to be in a bad mood, or bitter. And I'm not.

See, and this is the thing that's kind of bothering me. I'm starting to develop a "f**k you all!" attitude (not in general, just to people that do/say stupid things that peeve me), and it's not bringing my mood down like it used to. I guess "desensitizing" is a good term to use here (assuming I spelled it correctly ;). It's starting to become all too apparent that the world is full of friggin' idiots, and it's just better to step around them and move on. It used to be that when someone pissed me off, it would bring me down a bit because hey, I'm a nice guy. I don't like getting pissed off at people. But that seems to be changing. If 99 out of 100 people get the joke, and that last 1 person thinks it's serious. Screw 'em. It's not my problem. I don't like to be that way, but if they aren't willing to open their eyes to the obvious, it's not my fault. And why should I get upset or suffer because of that? There are a lot of people out there that need help. And I'm all for helping them. But there are also a lot of people out there that just want to be pitied. Sorry, but who's got time for that crap? Okay, maybe I've got time for it, but I don't have the patience for it anymore. I've met quite a few people who have it pretty good, but due to whatever (self pity, lack of life experience, etc) think they are the sorriest people on the planet. In a way, they are. But certainly not for the reasons they would have you believe.
On the other hand, I've seen people who are truly 'wading through the tarpits', and have a gung ho, gonna make it through, attitude. Sure they need help sometimes. We all do. But recognizing a legitimate need for help, and a too lazy/self pity attitude is extremely important.

Unfortunately, it seems in this world today, the legitimate need for help often goes unheeded, and the lazy/self pity attitude is far too often indulged in people.

I am not opposed to complaining. My theory is, complaining is how you deal with something that you can't actually do anything about. If you're moving furniture, and the couch is too heavy, you complain about the weight of the couch until someone comes along who can help you move it. IOW, it's not something you could overcome by yourself. Yes, there is a fine line between complaining and whining. Saying, "man, this couch is heavy. I don't know how I'm going to move it" is a complaint. Saying "The couch is too heavy! I'm never gonna be able to move it!" is whining.

Also, airing something in public (like on a messageboard or say... blog) that affects mainly (or only) you is whining. If it affects other people (especially a sizable group) is complaining (especially since you can't do anything about it).
Posting that you can't get a girlfriend, that's whining (no matter how true it may be or not ;). Posting that the lack of a salary cap in baseball is ruining the game, that's a complaint.

But hey, screw 'em all.

Okay, maybe not. I'm not that far gone yet ;) But still, people really need to take a good long look at themselves and say "am I complaining, do I legitimately need help? Or am I just lame?"

btw, my last post (the April 5th one), I was whining. I admit it ;Þ

In more nasty body news, that toenail on my big toe finally came off yesterday. I've had some bad toe luck since I moved to NH. First I break the little toe on my right foot moving a table, then I smash the big toe on my left foot in a door. That was six months ago though, and I thought the nail was going to fall off back then. It didn't hurt long (only a few days), but it was black and blue (under the nail) up until yesterday. The kids were chasing each other through the house, and one stepped on my foot w/o looking. Typical. It didn't really hurt though, as it was the lighter kid (the one I can toss around with one hand). But a few minutes later one of the other kids was like "eww, your toenail is coming off!" So I looked and lo and behold it was. About half an hour later I helped it along (it was only holding on by one little corner), so I then put one of those big bandaids on it just to protect it for now. I still have the nail and like to torment the kids with it (both the nail and the toe look pretty grody [hey, remember that term?]). I was actually a bit freaked though, as this is the first nail I've ever lost, and it just happened to be the biggest nail! (well, aside from my thumbnails). Do I put some antibacteria on it or something? Anybody with any experience out there? How long is a big toenail going to take to grow back?

On a lighter note, I also had a seriously odd dream. I'll post it later.

Just a quick note. For those of you who seem to think my blog has died. It hasn't.

The main goal of my blog is, and always has been, to entertain. Part of that involves my 'evolving' what I actually see/experience into a humorous story (like the squirrel event). It's been very gloomy and rainy here for awhile, so nothing much is really going on. I'm just working like normal, and still doing some art, but other than that, well, I don't know if I could make sleeping into an exciting story (although I kind of did once).

Anywho, just letting all my beloved fans out there (all 83,000- 82,996 of you) know that this is just a slow period, and not to worry. Thanks!

Oh the irony... do you realize that all those "free" online credit reports require you to a] have a credit card, and b] pay a fee or sign up for some trial 'credit monitoring service', which also requires a credit card.

Duh.




Oh yes, for those of you who were wondering (and I'm sure a few of you are squirrels), this is what I looked like as of yesterday:


Yes, the beard is real. In October, I had entertained thoughts of playing Santa Clause at the store. After the store owner said, "Screw dat", I kept growing the beard. As of last night however, it's gone. All gone. I shaved everything above the neck. Hair, beard, everything. Except my eye brows.


And for those of you who think I look like Gimli:

Frightening, no?

All-Round Gamer


(results contain pictures) What type of GAMER are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Yes, I've taken to filling out a bunch of these quizzes instead of actually posting in my blog. At least, as a supplement...

What Gritty No Nonsense Comic Book Character am I?

You are Jesse Custer.
Jesse is as tough as they come and always willing
to prove it. He'll kick your ass for being a
jackass. Or back you up if you prove that
you're a man. An actual good guy, Jesse's word
and honor is without reproach.


What Gritty No Nonsense Comic Book Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla"

- The Tragedy

Just when I was almost sure this was over, something new happens. As I was walking to work today, I saw it. There on the road. A dead squirrel. It wasn't squished, so I can only assume one of three things:

1. It fell from an overhanging tree


2. It was hit by a car and thrown by the impact


3. It wasn't really dead, but feigning death

It wasn't a small squirrel, so I know it wasn't the regular one that was visiting/spying on me. But that third option brings up an interesting possibility. Why would a squirrel be feigning death? I think there's more than meets the eye. That maybe something is really going on, and I'm merely the "fly on the wall" to it. Not directly involved, but in the midst of all that is going on.

Is there some kind of rodent war going on? With all these small animals NOT hibernating, it's possible. There's certainly not enough errant cats and dogs roaming to be a nuisance to them, so I don't think it's a "safety/for our protection" thing. Could there be some kind of internal power struggle? After years of being united, is it possible that the skunks, possums, squirrels, even the birds are now fighting for dominance among each other? Could that squirrel I found this morning have been *pushed* in front of a moving vehicle (or off a branch) as an act of retribution? The proverbial horses head when you wake up, so to speak. Is there a squirrel mafia? Is there a Rod(ent)-Father? And what kind of nicknames do small animals use? Vinnie the Human?

I might just have to hire some hamster mercenaries to infiltrate the organization...

- The Reckoning

I know it's been a bit since I last posted. I had to go covert. You know, study them as they spied on me. I've seen that small squirrel a few times since my last post. Once even, while walking to work. It ran across the street not 20 feet from me. Suspicious, maybe, but I'm still here, so no traps where laid (or set off at least). But the last few days have been quite pleasant. Sunny, or only partly cloudy, and above freezing temps. Today though, for the first time in a few weeks, I saw two squirrels frolicking. It made me somewhat happy, to know that they are getting back to business, and ignoring me.

However, you may be wondering why there's now a skunk in the logo and a new title. Well, aside from the fact that I have a bad habit of illustrating points with pictures (hey, it's the italian in me), the other night (saturday, the 14th, valentines day to be exact), I was packing up store merchandise to take to a convention the next day. At 11:30pm at night, I see something outside the double window of the store. It was kind of fluffy, and mostly white, and it wasn't a cat. It was a skunk, foraging. It had a mostly white coat, so I knew it was in it's "winter duds", otherwise I'd probably have thought it even wierder to see the skunk out in the middle of winter than the squirrels. Still, I thought skunks were more prone to hibernating than squirrels. On top of that, last week my friends dog had a possum dead ended in the back yard (luckily the dog is a big ole coward, or the possum might have been in actual trouble. The dog is a 100+ pound Golden Retriever).

In light of those two revelations, I'm inclined to point back to the post that started all this. Why are these small mammals not hibernating (despite the title, I am aware that skunks are not actually rodents)? I have done a little research, and found that skunks will hibernate when the weather conditions are severe. Somehow weeks worth of sub zero temps and 2-3 feet of snow and ice on the ground aren't severe enough?

Still, maybe it's just time for me to get back to my usually exciting and telltale life, and let sleeping squirrels lie. Or forage. Or frolick, or whatever they deem worthy enough to confuse me in these cold winter months...

- Day Something or Other

The Squirrel Crisis is starting to get interesting. The weather has been a little warmer over the past couple of days, and I've seen a squirrel on both days. But only one, and they weren't playing. Maybe they're having trouble finding food (I can't imagine how it was any easier a few weeks ago, when they were frollicking). Maybe they're sending out scouts. The one I saw this morning was quite small (a stealth squirrel, mayhaps?), and was signalling frantically with his tail. Even on our side of the fence, which I know was quite clear of danger, he was signalling. He also ran away after looking towards the bathroom window. I don't know if he saw me, but you have to admit it seems oddly coincidental. I'm starting to come to the conclusion that they don't have any specific plans against me, but they certainly don't want me to know what they are planning irregardless. Maybe to them, *I'm* the spy, so they have moved their base of operations?
I walked my friends dog yesterday, and believe you me, if there was a squirrel in sight he would have chased it. As was, he was extremely well behaved (despite my friends kids goading him, trying to make him run and pull me), so it's hard to say where they've relocated. If their plans are noble, and for the good of all, then I wish good fortune upon my squirrelly, nut-hoarding brethren. If they intend something more sinister, then I may have to take up arms with the chipmunks and unite against the squirrel invasion, or lack thereof.

Vive la la révolution de rongeur!

- Day 3

Still no signs of squirrels. Granted, the weather was crappy and it snowed like another 12 inches, but still. They're up to something. I just know it.

The Squirrel Conspiracy, part Deux.

No sooner did I write what I did yesterday, about the squirrels 'new' winter habits, than TWICE this morning, when I went to the bathroom, they were no where to be found.

Are they intelligent squirrels, reading my blog? How did they find out about the blog? Do they have some kind of inside informant? Is there a spy in the store? There is a vent behind me, and there's that shield bug (it's a type of beetle) that seems to have survived by being in the store despite the winter onslaught. Are the squirrels secretly feeding him, in return for vital information on me and what I'm doing at the store? If so, why are they so interested? What fiendish little plans are they hatching? When I mentioned yesterday about them being cannibalistic, did it bother them that I know so much about them? And my biggest concern...

Is it just the squirrels, or are there other rodents/insects/small animals involved in this conspiracy?

I'll keep you informed of any updates. But if I suddenly don't... beware the squirrels...

How much have we messed up the natural cycle of things? Even on a local scale? This is what I mean, in simple observation:

Everything I've read, seen, learned, grown up to believe (through my own witnessing) has told me that squirrels go away for the winter. They don't quite hibernate like bears, but if they can gather enough food for the winter, they'll basically hide. I know occassionally, if there's not enough food locally, they will have to forage a little during the winter.

I've lived in New York, I've lived in North Carolina. I have *not* seen a squirrel in the winter in all of my 28 winters. I'm 29 now, and live in New Hampshire. You know what I see, everyday outside the bathroom window, aside from the 2+ feet of snow that has been out there since early December? I see squirrels. Lots of 'em. Moreso perhaps, than I saw in the spring and summertime. And some of them are quite plump (most aren't, but a few are). They certainly aren't frollicking. In fact, they're probably freezing their arses off just as much as I do when I walk to work. Why are they out there? They're foraging.

WTH?!

There was plenty of food in the fall. I mean I could practically skate to work on a layer of acorns. The acorns would pelt the roof of the house, and one room that doesn't have a finished ceiling, it sounded like machinegun fire. There was no shortage of acorns. So why are the squirrels, even the ones that have a nice layer of "padding", out in subzero degree weather, where they couldn't get through the snow and ice even if there WAS food underneath? I'm just totally dumbfounded. I even know that squirrels are capable of cannibalism (not so cute anymore, are they?), yet I still am clueless as to why good hibernating areas + abundant food in the fall < winter hibernation/disappearing. I don't know if this is a rant, or an enquiry, or something else, but man, what the heck is wrong with squirrels nowadays? Or at least, northeastern squirrels? Why aren't you sleeping?!

Get a blog get a blog, I got a blog!
yeah ooh oooh oo ooo yeah I got a blog!

Even He's doing it!

Yes, you know boredom is setting in when one begins singing online (in text no less) and then pimping a friend's blog.

Which OS are You?

Under "dietary requirements": Do Fruit Roll-Ups count as one or two servings of fruits and vegetables?

Friggin' A. Who knew you could blog right from the Google toolbar on your browser? Sweet...

Anyway, onto less (or more) sordid things.

"Right Place at the Right Time" entry: I was walking to work the other day, and not 20 feet above my head were two crows chasing away a falcon. How cool is that? I've been to upstate NY, seen an eagle way off in the distance at a lake once, and seen several birds of prey down south in North Carolina, but never that close, and not being chased away by crows of all birds. It was just a really nifty sight to behold.


"Clothing Miracle?": For the second time in just over a year, I've experienced what I can only call a clothing miracle. Now, I don't get new clothing that often. It's just not fiscally possible for me. So I'm painfully aware of what clothing I do have. But sometimes, I seem to get new clothing out of thin air! And there's always the same "reversal of buttonry" on each. The first was a regular shirt. No collar (I'm not fond of them). It was long sleeved, fairly thin material, somewhat stretchy. I had bought a few of them at Kmart in NY when the going out of biz sale occured at my local venue. All the same shirts, same style, and with a series of buttons. I liked them because a] they stretched, b] they were adjustable enough (I could roll up the sleeves, open a few buttons and wear them during warmer weather). I got a few different colors, but only *one* of each color. They were like 5 bucks each, otherwise I wouldn't have bought them. I'd also like to add at this point, that I am not your normal "S,M,L,XL" guy. So shirts my size don't generally just 'turn up'. Well, I was living in Raleigh last December (2002), and had my stuff hung up. I was putting clean laundry away, and noticed an extra shirt in my closet. I noticed it, because it was the same color as one of my other shirts, and had the exact same properties, except: No buttons. The shirt went straight up to the elastic collar. I've never bought, or was given this shirt. Yet here it was suddenly. It's not like I would have put it away and didn't notice the two shirts. That second shirt just *wasn't there before*. On top of that, it was also the same size as my other shirts, so it couldn't have just belonged to someone and gotten mistaken for mine. I asked my roommates, and they had no clue about it. It would certainly have been odd to boot, to just get someone a single shirt like that, and hang it in their closet.

The more recent occurance, was with a sweater. I'm not a big sweater wearer, although I will use them sometimes. I have a couple of decent ones (nothing special), except, I now own an extra sweater, that is also virtually identical to one I already owned, except: This one HAS a few buttons running down the front of the collar, whereas my original one has no buttons. But the color, texture and size are all exactly the same again! This time, the sweater was found in a basket full of the kids clothing (my friends kids, I share a room in his house). Again, nobody in the household, even visitors, are even close to my size, so there's no mistaking who the shirt belongs to!

Is it a miracle? Maybe. I'd like to think it is. Gives me some hope.

Now what I could really use to multiply is underwear and jeans...

Stark raving mad. Did you ever ponder that term, and how it relates to your own daily existance? I mean, are there times you have, or just want to go stark raving mad? Do you consider yourself stark raving mad? More interestingly, do the people you *know* consider you stark raving mad? Are you stark raving mad if nobody you know or meet consider you stark raving mad? Will you go stark raving mad if I use the term "stark raving mad" one more time in this monologue? Do you wonder if I even care if I drive you stark raving mad by over using the term stark raving mad? I do actually, but that's not my point.

I sometimes feel like I'm on the loose chain of a lunatic asylum. Of course, I'm also the only detainee of said lunatic asylum. Would that make this asylum one of my own creation, or my way of dealing with the 'outside world'? If one such as myself is always in dissension with the world around me, why must I be the "insane one"? Why is it so damn "cool" to say "Hey, I'm the normal one, it's everyone else who's crazy." Maybe you're the nutcase. Or I'm the nutcase. Or anyone who says that is either ignorant, or arrogant. Or both. Maybe the world is normal, but has a tendancy to propel people into various states of dimentia. Or at least the occassional fit thereto. How many of you UK readers are thinking, "what's he on about now?" (for you US readers: "WTF is he talking about?"). That was just rhetorical. I really don't care. If you're reading this, it's cool. But I'm just sharing my thoughts. If you want to drop me a line, you're more than welcome to. But I'm not going to not share my thoughts as I see fit. Do I see fit? I don't know. I do wear glasses. Do I see unfit? Maybe...

So, just what am I on about? (btw, I'm not a UK'er, but it's a funny term. I like it). Honestly, I haven't the feintest clue... I have a bit of a headache, and am drinking Mountain Dew. It's okay, but I don't want to drink too much soda. So what's going through my noggin? Probably a few things. A bit of cabin fever (I'm at the store 60+ hours a week, and have been almost since it first opened in May 2003). A bit of lonliness (I haven't had a decent conversation with anyone even remotely close to my age in quite awhile [I'm talking year or more]. That's not to slight some of my friends online who are younger than me, but hold conversations well. I'm talking about an actual human being in person. I have no social life at ALL, and the relative ages of people who come into the store are mostly the Junior High School crowd (12-16 for those of you unfamiliar with Junior High). Not that I don't enjoy it. I mean, I've always had trouble being a "grown up", and I can actually relate to these kids in many ways. I also enjoy some of the games (we used to make fun of Yugioh, but who would have imagined I enjoy it more than Magic: The Gathering?), and occassionally can and will play games with them (btw, I'm a decent player, but can be easily beaten, so I'm not at any advantage other than getting the cards cheaper than the kids).

This is just one of those posts that I have to make periodically in order to keep what few strands of sanity I have left. I can't tell you how many times I've contemplated doing a, "David Banner". IE Just packing a sports bag with some basics, choosing a direction and just start walking. It could be what I was mean to do, although I'd rather do it "A-Team" style. (I pity da foo'!).

So, does anybody want to join me for a nice cup of 'stark raving madness'? I like mine with sugar and milk...

Two fisted blogging. It's just a funny term. Didn't hear it anywhere, just made it up. Ah, whatever :]

Anyways, I had some interesting dreams the past couple of nights, thought I'd share:

Some guy came into our house (Mom's apartment in New York, where my sister and nephew are living with her). He had a gun, and was holding us hostage. He didn't seem intent on robbing us, and I'm not really sure what he wanted. The oddest thing though, was that he looked like Matt LeBlanc! (Joey on "Friends") I have nothing against Matt, and actually watched one of his earliest series ("Top of the Heap", the Married with Children spin off), and used to watch Friends regularly. So why my subconscious chose him is beyond me. Anyways, he didn't say much, but at one point I managed to disarm him. He was on his knees in the doorway, hands behind his head. I was behind him, and tried to pistol whip him at the base of the skull (to knock him out). It was a typical wimpy dream swing, that had no power behind it. I remember saying, "Note to self: I have to learn some of those cool 'back of the head' knock out techniques." Somehow, at some point he got his gun away from me, and got downstairs. Now, in NY, mom's apartment is a rather dinky thing, but in the dream, instead of the stairway leading outside, it lead to the floor level. It was nice and spacious. There was also this cheap plastic looking balcony, but it wasn't balcony shaped (more like the outside support beams of a bridge, but in plastic). So "Joey" took a slide along the floor on his back, screaming and shooting at us (he was on the first floor, us the second), so I pushed my sister out of the way and pulled out... a chalk bag? Yes, that chalk bag that bowlers use to keep their hands dry. Only apparently, this one was loaded. I shot back at him. We emptied both our "clips". most of his went into the balcony railing. Many of mine went into him (who knew a chalk bag had such accuracy?). I went down the stairs carefully, and made sure I said (lucidly, as I do tend to have lucid dreams and can actually partially consciously influence them), "he's finished" (just in case my subconscious got any bright ideas to have him suddenly spring back to life). I turned him over (he was face down), and he had a bandana with a death's head symbol on it. But it was now replaced with a "smoking cross" (4 bullets, two up two across in a cross shape, the bulletholes still smoking). And that's how it ended. It was obviously (to some extent) a protective dream (me protecting my family), but what do I have to fear from Matt LeBlanc? How'd the apartment get so spacious? And just what calibre is a chalk bag?

Later on that same night, I had a dream about moving. See, since April 2000 I've moved 5 times. I've learned to live out of Rubbermaid Totes and laundry baskets. But in this second dream, I was REALLy moving. I mean, 3 times in about a week and a half. I don't recall where the first move was to, but the second was to Texas. I have a friend there from one of the internet message boards I frequent, and apparently I was helping him a bit. But a few days later, I upped and moved again, this time to northern California. I don't know why I just stopped helping my Texas friend, but the situation was basically the same (as has been for most of my moves). I stay with a friend for awhile, helping them out locally while I attempt to gain gainful employment so that I can eventually move out of my friends house. I remember my Texas friend has a sweet apartment, with some really nice furniture. I can't imagine being in a rush to move out of there, but I did. In California, I slept on some cushions on the floor. It was actually quite comfy, there was a TV in the room I was sleeping in. Oddly, the house owner was 'visualized' by my subconscious as someone I know here in New Hampshire. He's a gamer (Mechwarrior and Magic mostly), and I've chatted with him quite a bit, but he's still more of an acquaintance in real life than someone I know that well (except for one factoid about his wife cheating on him, but TMI!). Still, I remember waking up groggily and looking out the window. It was still early yet (it's possible some of the early light was shining in my window in real life, and I partially opened my eyes (that happens sometimes) and it just incorporated into my dreams), and I could see I was on the second story. There were some trees, but no snow on the ground. It was quaint. Not really like you'd expect to see in California. The next scene, (this is where it gets wierd), I was looking out the back window, where there was a bit of a driveway or parking lot for the residents. There was snow back there, and a caterpillar truck (the yellow construction vehicles that most people are familiar with) was cleaning up one end. Further back there were a couple of cows licking up snow from the pavement. There was a 'blob' of snow to their side. The asphalt licking cows weren't the wierd thing. It was the 20 foot high, 40 foot long cow near them that was. Next scene, I'm down there, outside at street level with some other people. One was a youngish girl who apparently had a crush on me. As we were watching, we heard a stampede noise. She grabbed my arm, and yelled to everyone to "Come here!". With "here" being behind some barrier thing that would hopefully protect us from the stampede. My subconscious began to betray me here. I said, "cover your ears folks, this could get loud." Then I made this loud, deep reverberating honk. Yes, a honk. It's intention was the placate the stampede. Only thing was, it would apparently work on cattle, but the stampede was revealed to be actually a large group of ... children! I told my subconscious to rewind and do it again, right this time. It rewound, but refused to change the stampede into cattle. So I was a bit embarassed. Some other woman there commented that if I "bounced" the honk against the back of my throat, it would reverberate even louder and be even more effective. I told her, "it has to flow out from my throat. If it hits the back, the reverb will cause it to tickle and cut off the sound." to which the youngish girl told me, "you tell it!" or some other similar such cheer. I don't recall much after that, except for a scene where I actually had that giant cow by the horns and was wrangling it. Wierd stuff.

Last Night
The dream I had last night was also kind of odd. See, I was hanging out for some reason with this group of people (At least the guy was Japanese. The girl might also have been) who were entered in a "dress up" competition. Basically, groups of three would dress up (even person entered individually, but it all counted towards a team score) and do some kind of choreography that would "match their outfit", and get awarded points. The judges were Japanese (doesn't surprise me, as some Japanese game shows have the oddest premises), and the other contestants were too. The guy was dressed in a tuxedo, and did something like a show tunes display. I didn't see the girl, but did see one of the people on the other team wore ancient japanese leather armor, and had blades on his fingers. He was going to do something of a weapons based choreography. Then came my turn. I started out in a tux, but did some flashy spinny thing and ripped off the tux. I was suddenly wearing a fully samurai/kabuki outfit (it was supposed to be kabuki, but instead of facial makeup, I had a fully warlord helmet on. Those big 1.5 foot high things where the face always looks mean and there's a big space by the mouth). This shocked everyone, but many people applauded. Apparently, I was the only non-Japanese contestant, and also the only person doing a traditional Japanese choreography. So I danced around (not randomly, but following kabuki traditions), and kept reminding myself "the blade of the sword never goes face down". I was using a naginata (it's a staff with a broadsword built into the end of it), so everything I did, I tried to keep the staff with the blade face up. Then I did my "big move", which was a split legged, one hand, hand stand. I did it first on a pile of dirt, and while I held it for a few seconds and got some "ooh's" and gasps from the audience, I seemed to be having trouble maintaining it because of the shakey ground. So I danced over to this little set up that had a mini pool. I turned the water on, intent on using it like a 'suction' to give me more stability. I did it again, again, got oohs and aahs. Also, in case I forgot to mention, I had on those Japanese sandals that have the one piece sticking down from them. Basically, you have to have great balance to not fall over with them. So while I was doing my watery handstand (the pool was only about 2 inches deep), a judge came over and told me, "it's time to pay for this", although it was a mis-communique of the phrase, "it's time to score you on this". For some reason Shadoe, my cat was there starring at the water going down the drain (she loves to do that), so as I got down I scratched her head quickly. I then danced over to the other area where I did that spin move again, and ripped off the kabuki outfit to reveal another tuxedo underneath! I'd like to explain something quick: I had woken up, looked at my clock. 10:52am. I knew my alarm was going to go off at 11am. But I went back to sleep anyway and that's when the dream *started*. My alarm went off right before I actually got to perform, but I managed to hit the snooze button and keep on dreaming. After I revealed the second tux, my alarm went off at 11:09am, and that's when I woke up.

I tell ya, sometimes I have the most interesting dreams. And sometimes the crappiest. But they are seldom dull...

Edit: In a fit of irony, Blogger puked again as I was attempting to post the entry below. Through some finagaling (and using *two* browsers) the entry mysteriously appeared (but only in the edit section, not in the publically accessible part you're reading now). Wierd...

You know, I rather like Blogger. It's pretty easy to use. It seems to be "freer" than LiveJournal (the other big popular blog). Not to rag on LJ, I have some good friends on there. I'm just saying, LJ, at least up until recently, seemed to be an elitest kind of site. You had to know someone who has an account in order to get your own. Now it's open game. But still, Blogger is easy to use.

Viva La Blogger!

It never ceases to amaze me. I can talk up a storm, but sit down and write, even like this, which is just a 'say what I'm feeling' thing, or I'll have inspiration up the wazoo, but when I draw, I tend to ditch page after page of scratch (ie the attempts to actually visualize my inspiration in a semi tangible manner). So what gives. Is it performance anxiety? Do I need "Creators Viagra"? Some sort of chemical stimulation for the creation centers in my brain to get that much needed cranial erection? And more importantly, does it come in a "patch" form?

Here's my latest picture, "Two Snow Men fighting in a Snow Storm":





























Lovely, isn't it? The subtle dynamics of the first snowman as he fights relentlessly to get his corn cob pipe back from the second snowm... aw, who the heck am I kidding? I just hit "enter" a few times and fudged it. Still, I've been running this (or the "me naked in a snowstorm") gag for years. I even once actually drew myself naked in a snowstorm. It's okay, I covered up the naughty bits. Besides, I didn't want to be accused of unnecessary exaggeration ;]

If I'm feeling daring tonight, I might see how much sour apple big league chew I can fit in my face, whilst frying my brain to the emotional high that is "Badger"...

Remember folks, friends don't let friends Badger and blog...

My newest addiction:

Badger. This has got to be the addictive single thing I've found on the internet in my six years of surfing (okay, 5 and a half. The first six months I did nothing but search for porn. I mean it, NOTHING else. Well, accept sign up for a yahoo email account, for said porn).

But really, if you find anything even remotely as addictive as "Badger", let me know. Please.

Dreams really do come true...

I had this wierd dream the other night, and the ONLY thing I came away from it with, was a desire for some kind of banana smoothie or banana drink. So yesterday, as I'm ordering lunch, I didn't want any soft drinks, so I asked what kind of non-soda's they had. Snapple apparently has a drink called "Go Bananas", and they had it. Woohoo!

If I was suddenly able to breathe fire (I mean without the aid of inhalants, exhalants, any kind of flammable (or imflammable for that matter) fuel, gamma radiation or a horrible mutagenic accident), would that make me famous? Or just someone with a novel way of getting rid of bad breath?

Just something to ponder...

argh. I had an entire post/essay involving chicken wings, and blogger barfed, and there went the entire thing... I may rewrite it, but for now I'll just say "Argh" and go eat lunch...

I'm your friendly cyberhood on-off blog poster. LOVE ME!


*ahem*


Sorry. I'm over it. I think... LO... yeah, I'm over it.

So, how did you spend your new years day? Who here had a hangover, raise your glass.
Who here got laid? No no, no need to get out of bed.

Who here did neither? Oh wait, you're reading this blog, so I guess that's all of you... Oh well, at least you're not alone :]

I've never put much stock in the old addage that what you do the first day of the year dictates the rest of your year. It never has before (and I hope it doesn't now, because I slept like crazy. I slept for 15 hours, spent about an hour and a half on the phone talking to family and the former girlfriend, then took a two hour nap, and was ready for bed 6 and a half hours later!).

What are my goals for this year? Well, to get out of this darn funk. It's really kept me from doing a lot. I have practically stopped drawing because of it. I mean, I've had my slow spots, but I just have NO desire whatsoever to draw. That's bad. I could write. Although granted I have more "creativity" than "writing" in me, I almost got a job writing a sequel to a big budget hollywood effects movie. (I probably exaggerate how close I actually came, but I did speak to some up-and-ups at the actual studio, and got the legitimized reason why I was turned down (aside from the fact it seems they have decided to not go through with a sequel for the time being), plus I know the people who were responsible for the first movie, so I like to think I am more important to the franchise than I actually am. :]

I would like to draw (period. as opposed to more), and make them actual scenes (backgrounds and all). The best thing I drew in 2003 was a 4 page sequential story for a drawoff at Digital Webbing, featuring my own character and that of another forum members. He won the draw off, but I had a lot of fun. I got to be creative, humorous, I got to draw sequentials, and I even drew backgrounds (they weren't overly detailed, but then the entire scenario was akin to a Road Runner episode, so they were as detailed as they needed to be). I want to do more like that, and I want to do entire books worth (at least 22 pages). I started pencilling someone's script, and in the first panel alone I achieved detail that I didn't realize I was capable of. I know I have it within me, I am just so lacking in drive/motivation...