Two fisted blogging. It's just a funny term. Didn't hear it anywhere, just made it up. Ah, whatever :]

Anyways, I had some interesting dreams the past couple of nights, thought I'd share:

Some guy came into our house (Mom's apartment in New York, where my sister and nephew are living with her). He had a gun, and was holding us hostage. He didn't seem intent on robbing us, and I'm not really sure what he wanted. The oddest thing though, was that he looked like Matt LeBlanc! (Joey on "Friends") I have nothing against Matt, and actually watched one of his earliest series ("Top of the Heap", the Married with Children spin off), and used to watch Friends regularly. So why my subconscious chose him is beyond me. Anyways, he didn't say much, but at one point I managed to disarm him. He was on his knees in the doorway, hands behind his head. I was behind him, and tried to pistol whip him at the base of the skull (to knock him out). It was a typical wimpy dream swing, that had no power behind it. I remember saying, "Note to self: I have to learn some of those cool 'back of the head' knock out techniques." Somehow, at some point he got his gun away from me, and got downstairs. Now, in NY, mom's apartment is a rather dinky thing, but in the dream, instead of the stairway leading outside, it lead to the floor level. It was nice and spacious. There was also this cheap plastic looking balcony, but it wasn't balcony shaped (more like the outside support beams of a bridge, but in plastic). So "Joey" took a slide along the floor on his back, screaming and shooting at us (he was on the first floor, us the second), so I pushed my sister out of the way and pulled out... a chalk bag? Yes, that chalk bag that bowlers use to keep their hands dry. Only apparently, this one was loaded. I shot back at him. We emptied both our "clips". most of his went into the balcony railing. Many of mine went into him (who knew a chalk bag had such accuracy?). I went down the stairs carefully, and made sure I said (lucidly, as I do tend to have lucid dreams and can actually partially consciously influence them), "he's finished" (just in case my subconscious got any bright ideas to have him suddenly spring back to life). I turned him over (he was face down), and he had a bandana with a death's head symbol on it. But it was now replaced with a "smoking cross" (4 bullets, two up two across in a cross shape, the bulletholes still smoking). And that's how it ended. It was obviously (to some extent) a protective dream (me protecting my family), but what do I have to fear from Matt LeBlanc? How'd the apartment get so spacious? And just what calibre is a chalk bag?

Later on that same night, I had a dream about moving. See, since April 2000 I've moved 5 times. I've learned to live out of Rubbermaid Totes and laundry baskets. But in this second dream, I was REALLy moving. I mean, 3 times in about a week and a half. I don't recall where the first move was to, but the second was to Texas. I have a friend there from one of the internet message boards I frequent, and apparently I was helping him a bit. But a few days later, I upped and moved again, this time to northern California. I don't know why I just stopped helping my Texas friend, but the situation was basically the same (as has been for most of my moves). I stay with a friend for awhile, helping them out locally while I attempt to gain gainful employment so that I can eventually move out of my friends house. I remember my Texas friend has a sweet apartment, with some really nice furniture. I can't imagine being in a rush to move out of there, but I did. In California, I slept on some cushions on the floor. It was actually quite comfy, there was a TV in the room I was sleeping in. Oddly, the house owner was 'visualized' by my subconscious as someone I know here in New Hampshire. He's a gamer (Mechwarrior and Magic mostly), and I've chatted with him quite a bit, but he's still more of an acquaintance in real life than someone I know that well (except for one factoid about his wife cheating on him, but TMI!). Still, I remember waking up groggily and looking out the window. It was still early yet (it's possible some of the early light was shining in my window in real life, and I partially opened my eyes (that happens sometimes) and it just incorporated into my dreams), and I could see I was on the second story. There were some trees, but no snow on the ground. It was quaint. Not really like you'd expect to see in California. The next scene, (this is where it gets wierd), I was looking out the back window, where there was a bit of a driveway or parking lot for the residents. There was snow back there, and a caterpillar truck (the yellow construction vehicles that most people are familiar with) was cleaning up one end. Further back there were a couple of cows licking up snow from the pavement. There was a 'blob' of snow to their side. The asphalt licking cows weren't the wierd thing. It was the 20 foot high, 40 foot long cow near them that was. Next scene, I'm down there, outside at street level with some other people. One was a youngish girl who apparently had a crush on me. As we were watching, we heard a stampede noise. She grabbed my arm, and yelled to everyone to "Come here!". With "here" being behind some barrier thing that would hopefully protect us from the stampede. My subconscious began to betray me here. I said, "cover your ears folks, this could get loud." Then I made this loud, deep reverberating honk. Yes, a honk. It's intention was the placate the stampede. Only thing was, it would apparently work on cattle, but the stampede was revealed to be actually a large group of ... children! I told my subconscious to rewind and do it again, right this time. It rewound, but refused to change the stampede into cattle. So I was a bit embarassed. Some other woman there commented that if I "bounced" the honk against the back of my throat, it would reverberate even louder and be even more effective. I told her, "it has to flow out from my throat. If it hits the back, the reverb will cause it to tickle and cut off the sound." to which the youngish girl told me, "you tell it!" or some other similar such cheer. I don't recall much after that, except for a scene where I actually had that giant cow by the horns and was wrangling it. Wierd stuff.

Last Night
The dream I had last night was also kind of odd. See, I was hanging out for some reason with this group of people (At least the guy was Japanese. The girl might also have been) who were entered in a "dress up" competition. Basically, groups of three would dress up (even person entered individually, but it all counted towards a team score) and do some kind of choreography that would "match their outfit", and get awarded points. The judges were Japanese (doesn't surprise me, as some Japanese game shows have the oddest premises), and the other contestants were too. The guy was dressed in a tuxedo, and did something like a show tunes display. I didn't see the girl, but did see one of the people on the other team wore ancient japanese leather armor, and had blades on his fingers. He was going to do something of a weapons based choreography. Then came my turn. I started out in a tux, but did some flashy spinny thing and ripped off the tux. I was suddenly wearing a fully samurai/kabuki outfit (it was supposed to be kabuki, but instead of facial makeup, I had a fully warlord helmet on. Those big 1.5 foot high things where the face always looks mean and there's a big space by the mouth). This shocked everyone, but many people applauded. Apparently, I was the only non-Japanese contestant, and also the only person doing a traditional Japanese choreography. So I danced around (not randomly, but following kabuki traditions), and kept reminding myself "the blade of the sword never goes face down". I was using a naginata (it's a staff with a broadsword built into the end of it), so everything I did, I tried to keep the staff with the blade face up. Then I did my "big move", which was a split legged, one hand, hand stand. I did it first on a pile of dirt, and while I held it for a few seconds and got some "ooh's" and gasps from the audience, I seemed to be having trouble maintaining it because of the shakey ground. So I danced over to this little set up that had a mini pool. I turned the water on, intent on using it like a 'suction' to give me more stability. I did it again, again, got oohs and aahs. Also, in case I forgot to mention, I had on those Japanese sandals that have the one piece sticking down from them. Basically, you have to have great balance to not fall over with them. So while I was doing my watery handstand (the pool was only about 2 inches deep), a judge came over and told me, "it's time to pay for this", although it was a mis-communique of the phrase, "it's time to score you on this". For some reason Shadoe, my cat was there starring at the water going down the drain (she loves to do that), so as I got down I scratched her head quickly. I then danced over to the other area where I did that spin move again, and ripped off the kabuki outfit to reveal another tuxedo underneath! I'd like to explain something quick: I had woken up, looked at my clock. 10:52am. I knew my alarm was going to go off at 11am. But I went back to sleep anyway and that's when the dream *started*. My alarm went off right before I actually got to perform, but I managed to hit the snooze button and keep on dreaming. After I revealed the second tux, my alarm went off at 11:09am, and that's when I woke up.

I tell ya, sometimes I have the most interesting dreams. And sometimes the crappiest. But they are seldom dull...